SmAHM 2

Duckling is not as good an eater as I, the horse appetite parent, would like. Duckling’s way is snacking and nibbling at food to survive rather than enjoy. What duckling is good at is sleep. On a good day, with nibbles enough to constitute 3 meals and a good old runaround, duckling will have a 2 hour middle of day nap and 12 hours of night sleep. Even though 2 is not far off the horizon. Not bad by any standards.

So we spent the weekend with friends who have two young sons. They are excellent eaters, chomping down everything their mother puts on their plates.  On the flip side they are notoriously light sleepers waking even at age 3 upto 6 times each night.

Anyway, on the day they were prepping for a open afternoon/ evening party of about 40 people and so while the children played we helped cleaning and organising. Duckling had a brilliant time, running around and generally running riot in a warehouse of someone else’s toys. In the evening (as we were staying overnight) I kept to the normal routine: dinner, bath, milk and sleep. And for once duckling did not protest – sleep was welcome after a hard days work decimating someone. else’s. toys.

So the guests started arriving while the routine was being put in place. As it was an open evening tea type party by the time duckling went to bed only a core group of about 10 people remained. Boy was nursing his 3rd glass of something a bit strong. I ate a few snacks and was sticking to cola and polite conversation with this group of people whom we had never met before.

My friend kept urging me to drink something stronger. I declined because the Boy was already drinking and I wanted to be alert as we were in a new place and with new bed under ducking I wanted to be there incase there was any waking up in the middle of the night. Also I’m an alcoholic lightweight and even 1 glass makes me feel a bit woozy. But most importantly this was my decision as a fully capable adult and after 5 tries of urging me she should have stepped away from the topic. I do not owe anyone explanations for my decisions. On her 6th try, from the sheer wearing down of my defenses, I told her my reason of wanting to be alert at night. She instantly mocked me by turning to her friend and saying ‘and this woman is always telling us how her duckling sleeps through the night’. I ignored this jibe as did the complete stranger.

The conversation then turned to sleeping as all 10 adults had children and in any parents life sleep and its deprivation are big topics. I was explaining in what I thought was a self-deprecating way about how duckling struggles with food but is an excellent sleeper. Apparently my friend did not think so for her next sentence was about how ‘it’s no wonder duckling sleeps so well, if you go to work duckling must just be bored with life.’ Silence you could cut with a knife.

I am once again gobsmacked at the audacity of smug stay at home mothers who assume the mantle for all to wage war against all mothers who choose to work. Work and boredom have nothing to do with my child’s sleeping patterns. The good habit of resting between hectic days of fun filled play do. Why do women have to put others down to justify their own decisions is not something I will ever quite understand. Stay at home if you will, just don’t throw your homespun views about my child’s life because their mother works. You know nothing about it and are best sticking to opinions about your own children.

March 17, 2011. Idiots, Uncategorized, What did you say?.